I hid my second pregnancy..

We struggled to conceive our second baby, it took years, months, trying, going to doctors, hospital, tests after tests, scans.. took a lot of hard work on myself to make it happen.

I started to video my journey 2018. I wanted to have something to look back on, since i wasn’t posting much, and finally 2019 it happened, 8th of febuary to be precise. When you track your body, you never forget these dates, the amount of ovulation and pregnancy tests i had to do.. wow.

The day i found out i was pregnant, we was rushing to go out, but routenly i took a test that morning, sort of just chucked it on top of the toilet, just to check on in a minute or so, when your used to taking maybe 2 a month, it gets routine for you. i checked it, held it in a different light and i could have sworn there was 2 lines.. so i rushed into the living room- conviently i bougth a clear blue on sale a few days before, that was lucky! . drank so much water to need a pee, and past thorran the test, that wasn’t how i wanted to tell him, i wanted to do a huge annoucnement, but i was that nervous scared excited, i didn’t want to do it on my own, so he knew before i did. We was so shocked. We couldn’t believe it finally happened. That ONE night, it was our time..

I looked awful, i scragged my hair up, got kaylen in the car and went to pick my mum and brother up, we all went to a local play area.. i had to tell her, nothing felt real, i didn’t feel like i was in my own body.. I told thorran to take a photo of me and my mum- but he videoed it.. ‘say georgia’s pregnant’ and at first she thought it was a joke, till i showed her the proof.. She was happy for us, sat here writing this now i’m crying, it was such a unreal moment.. I had to tell everybody THAT DAY.

I went to my granny pats, and i was nervous, i don’t really know why, she’s like my bestfriend, she does so much for us.. i just hoped she would be happy. So we announced it the same way.. and she was shocked.. then happy… My grandad just sorta said ‘oo ahh’ .. then time to tell my Dad and sister.. We needed to try something different..

So, i put a bun in the oven.. told them i had a suprise in there.

My dad thought it was a taco bell, and my sister thought it was a hairless cat (i honestly don’t know why she thought id put a cat in a oven but hey ho..) Seeing the smiles, just made it all feel real.. it was happening, were finally having another baby.

Them first few days was scary, i was worried something bad would happen, i was writing about it on my old blog as a draft, and started to get pains.. soon realised i had bled, so we had to rush up to the hospital.. would you believe they made me wait a day for a scan.. i just couldn’t relax.. have you ever had a scan that early? How they have to scan you that early on.. I was grabbing thorran’s hand i was looking at the mans face, will he smile will he say sorry.. it was minutes but felt like hours.. then he turned the screen and we saw our BLOB.. getting pregnanct after a miscarriage is scary, i was comparing everything, every twinge, i just wanted it to speeed up, every week we made, felt a safter step forward. I had to take asprin for pre eclampsia risk, i was checking my blood pressure constantly, even my own urine samples.. I was so scared something would happen, i was so early going on a week away with my family to a caravan.. i said we needed to pack a baby bag incase he come months early. i was conviened he was coming early, he was going to be premature..

We had a gender reveal, my sister in law sorted it out, was the best party ever. I imagined just sat with family and pop a balloon, but the way she made it fun was just amazing, the support we had, was overwhelming, we had little photos up saying no camera’s.. i was scared somehow someone will leak my news.. i wanted to keep it a secret ebcause of the stress last time, i needed this pregnancy to be stress free.. no drama..

People guessed, they saw me in public, they commented on my stuff.. it was easy just to ignore it, i knew we needed to do this..

November 2019. He was due 1st november… I was bouncing on a space hopper, eating curries and just trying to get him out, i was so excited to finally meet him, we was overly prepared, we decorated our living room, got it filled with baby toys, we was more than ready for him!

They wanted to do me a sweep, but i refused.. he has to come on his own, its not natural you bringing him out.. i was adiment he would come on his own terms, i guess he was to cosey in there! The day came to be induced, over that past week i had reduced movements and random pains, i knew they had to do something.. They fitted me a balloon- google this. So gave me a sweep also.. i went home, it was very weird feeling. but i knew it was most natural way of trying to induce me.. i didn’t want hormones etc. It didn’t fall out so i had to go back the next day for it removed.. They said i was 5cm, and needed to go down to a labour room- i had my own room as i was ‘high risk’. being in that room made it feel real, seeing all the stuff in there, was scary!

They started me on antibiotics, they didn’t do a test for strep b this time, was just going to treat it.. So 3 attempts of putting a canular in and we was ready. They was going to break my waters, and soon after wanted to give me something to make me contract, i refused i said ‘please no, don’t force my body to contract, give him more time’ it took a few hours, and the pains got stronger, i said i didn’t want pain relief till i needed it.. and by time that was, i couldn’t even sit still.. that epidural wasn’t going in, i could feel it all, i couldn’t sit there, i needed to move. i was ready to punch the women grabbing my head. But all the midwifes on the other hand was absolutely amazing! I felt like i was embarrassing myself, i was in so much pain! with kaylen it was pain free and fast, everyone was so proud! but with carter, i felt like i was dying. My worse fear was a C SECTION, but by time i was pushing i wanted one.. i said i cannot do this, like i had a choice! I was holding thorrans head against mine and thinking how much this means.. it got me through it.. the moment they tell you to push.. its go time.

He was placed on me right away, unlike kaylen who had to be rushed off from me, i got to hold him for a while.. finally told my mum his name- i wouldn’t; tell anybody when i was pregnant, sadly his sister left the room just before and couldn’t come in till i was stitched up. I remember sat there being stitched up saying i can feel every little tug.. but i glanced over the side of the room where Thorran was feeding our boy.. Moment the stitches was done i was up and off that bed, never felt more ready to move.. announced it to my best friend and family members.. I called him ugly.. which was really bad.. but i best admit that now, he was so swollen, he did not want to come out, he looked constantly angry for hours. he soon ‘unswelled’ and looked perfect, i loved him from moment i had him but honestly, i really did say to my mum ‘can i say hes ugly’, So don’t feel bad guys.. He’s now very much gorgeous anyway!

I had to then stay in for the night, i made thorran stay.. the after pains was like going through it again, nothing would make it go, i doubt id have been able to cope that night without him, the nurses helped with him so much that night, even fed him a little, but he wouldn’t eat anything just yet.. i had a hot bath to calm the pain, worked until i got out! Morning came , all checks done, and we was good.. apart from me. They wanted to keep me in due to blood pressure.. now i refused, i was stupid to aswell… i said i have a blood pressure monitor at home, let me just go home please.. So thats what i did

In the car, the speed bumps- OUCH! i was hungry, tired and in pain, i made my dad stop at morrisons for some bits and bobs and baby milk, he wanted to push carter in the trolley, he was happy to be grandad again! We got home, got settled and then my mum, nan and brother and sister come up as well as KAYLEN..

That first time he saw him, he was so confused, scared in a way.. whats that little thing looking at me.. he held him, he laughed, smiled. kissed him.. its a over whelming feeling looking at them both. he loves him so much..

I had to announce it to social media now, and i kept thinking.. how

Do i upload the video yet? Do i just do a live video? what do i do..

I uploaded a little photo of him, took myself, with a few details on.. not his name nor his gender though.. we waited a exact week till we announced that.. i kept a eye on twitter, Facebook etc.. and for once, NO BAD THINGS. nothing negative, or threatening, just genuine people being happy, being shocked, but being in someway proud of us for keeping it to ourselves, It showed people we didn’t do stuff for attention, were a normal family, who just like to share stuff from time to time..

But this was it now, our journey with 2 kids!